My last refusal of 2009.

It's been a year.

Some people like to reflect on the 365 yesterdays of the upcoming yesteryear. The same people like to try to resolve some of the issues that occurred in that twelve-month period. And say that in the new year, they're actually going to be different that they were before, and in all honesty, I know myself too well to say that change begins here and now.

The true fact of the matter is the shit that you actually have the control to change typically happens in very small pieces. And the shit that is beyond your control usually changes as quickly as a slap across the face.

For instance, I used to get so stoked to party my face off on nights like this. But, you know, I worked all day. I've been moving shit into my new apartment. I didn't sleep that well. And it used to only be like "Oh, I'll go out but I'm not going to take shots" and then the whole gluten bullshit threw me into "Well, I cant really drink beer" and then I got so shitty on Halloween that I was like "maybe I shouldnt blackout anymore" and now its New Years and I'm sitting on my couch and getting up feels like too much effort let alone trying to transform my general plainness into a human being who's borderline worth looking at. Which usually takes more effort than I care to admit, and when drinking heavily, that effort quickly ends up being frizzy hair, eyeliner smudging underneath my eyes, and a minor mental breakdown due to over-boozing.

Change happens in small pieces, people. I went from Eddie Murphy's "Party All the Time"...

Eddie Murphy feat Rick James - Party All The Time
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...to Celine Dion's "All by Myself" and it took about a good year and half for this process to occur. And the thing about this kind of change is that it wasn't even pre-meditated. It just happened. Yeah. I'm not saying I never party, but I am saying that I dont do it like I used to. Now, I usually do it by myself. And now that I'm living alone...well, its all downhill from here.

Just kidding. Anyways...

In conclusion, New Years 2009/2010 is going to be spent in a large sweatshirt and a pair of leggings (I know, the ultimate 'I'm staying in' outfit. For men and women.) And my mom brought over champagne. And my sister and I are going to sit on the couches and bitch at eachother while simultaneously yelling at the cats and being borderline drunk. I refuse to reflect and I refuse to resolve.

Happy indifferent New Year, everyone.

Recap of 2009: Blog-nerd Style

In the words of Ice Cube, today was a good day.

I'm still in the midst of my first rotation as a management associate at my company. If I havent explained what it is, basically, I get out on the floor of the plant where I work, learn how to run the machines, and hang out with all the sweet people that I call co-workers. It's like an extended intro to everything the company does, and I do this for three months. And then I move into a full 6-month rotation that is more business-oriented. In between there, I'll fly down to Texas to be inundated with corporate awesomeness. Wherever did my idealism go? Oh right. AmeriCorps. (That one's for you, Kiangster.)

On this fine Monday, I worked on this huge machine that basically cuts shit out. Like if you've ever owned a folder in your life, this is prob the machine that cut your folder out before it had to go to the next machine to get glued. Did you even think about that process? No? Me either. Until I started this job. Highlight of today: "Come Sail Away" by Styx comes on the radio. Me and Steve-o have an epic sing-along while the machine pumps out 4200 folders an hour. That piano intro is on repeat in my mind right now. And I love it.

In other news, I also made the deal. THE deal. The new apartment is FOUND. And as of Wednesday, it will be leased! I'm more than excited. I'm ecstatic. Maybe I'll post pics a year from now when I'll actually be able to afford to furnish it. Just kidding. A little bit.

And in the spirit of the New Year, I decided to post ten of my most irrelevant blentries that I wrote over the past ten-ish months. So for those of you who really dont have a life, bon voyage. Into my thoughts.

Hundred Day. My attempt at bringing back MySpace quizzes.

The Resurrection of an Old Facebook Note Remember when that stupid "25 facts" thing was going around facebook? I wrote a special one for my best friend.

The Story of Big Game James The Boston girls and I take down a Major League Baseball pitcher. And we learn the meaning of the word "road beef".

Dont ask me for shit. Last May, I had my first annual Rumspringa. In the words of Weird Al, "It's hard work and sacrifice, living in an Amish paradise."

I really want to punch someone... I need anger management. But not really.

Top ten celebs I love to hate My sister doesn't think I'm funny. So when she told me this was funny, I believed her.

Things I really like about baseball Self-explanatory.

The grade that everyone should be allowed to skip I won honorable mention in a humor essay contest for this one. Def a fave.

The Plight of the Uncool My self-deprecation reaches an all-time high. Or low. You decide.

The Woes, Blows, and Oh-No's of Online Dating Yep. I went there.

Enough reading for everyone? Yeah. Thought so.

And if I dont write again this wk, which is a serial possibility...HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Update Ya'll

Christmastime, oh Christmastime. You reach deep within my pockets and fail to reach my low expectations. How I love you.

So this month has gone by fast for me. How 'bout for you guys?? Between working through my production stuff at work, sleeping, and occasionally being dragged around to various things by friends, well, I havent had much time to myself. And not having time to myself is a crazy-making process. As if I didnt have enough crazy to begin with. 

But alas! The end is in sight! As I have found a place to call home and within a month I will be living in a glorious apartment in the Stapleton area of Denver! It's practically Aurora! 

The apartment is pretty kickass. Stainless steel appliances and a sweet kitchen. An awesome bedroom setup. A sick clubhouse/fitness center. Covered parking beneath the building. And a big-ass pool so I can get my tan on in the summertime. Plus, rent that made me want to go shopping because I'll be able to afford to. It's pretty much a sweet deal. And I'm pretty much ready to get out of this place and have some...solitude. I can barely even fathom what thats like anymore. After years of roommate hell, finally my own place. Sweet baby Jesus Christ in a manger. I'm going to love this.

In other news, I started writing as the Denver Comedy Examiner for Examiner.com. Another reason why this bloggy has gone a little neglecty. It's awesome. Because I get to go to events, sometimes for free, interview comedians, and write about something that I really do love. And I'm forced to laugh on a wkly basis. That is a very good thing. Check it out. And please subscribe. 

I know I have some stories I can tell, but I've gotta start on my shit-to-do-for-Christmas list before its too late. 

Oh wait...it probably is.

Bed before 10pm.

You know how people say there is kind of like this bell curve with life and eventually you peak and then you start headed back towards a state of infancy? I think I might have read that in the book Tuesdays with Morrie, which is such a good book but who really admits to reading it? Apparently, I do.

Well, in a weird way, I believe I'm heading back down the bell curve. I dont know when the last time that I went to bed before ten was, but I'm going to assume it was a) when I was sick so that doesnt count or b) when I was 7 yrs old.

But here I am at 25, unable to productively go through my day without eight hours of sleep, and as my newfound job status presses for early rising, I find myself having to force an early bedtime upon myself. The classic initial stage of regression before I need to start with the Depends.

So there's a quickie for the first day of December. I'm hitting the hay in a geriatric way.