I read a few minutes ago about how Mischa Barton, the annoying star of that old crap-show The OC, recently pulled a puke n rally at a bar in Hollywood. The headline in HuffPost reads "Mischa Barton vomits in bar" and the headline in the NY Post reads "Mischa Barton's tough night".
Now. In all of my infinite wisdom, after reading this article, I have recognized Mischa's party habit as an art that the young drunken masses have deemed as the "Puke 'N Rally". AH! The Puke 'N Rally! How did I determine this? Well, in the article, it states that she "runs outside and vomits everywhere. And then she went back inside and hung out for the rest of the night."
Yes, you did, Mischa Barton. Gain my respect, that is.
Screw these Hollywood dickarazzis and their poor choice of highlighting the coolest, trendiest acts of young celebs. These people live in a world where partying is frowned upon by the great majority of the no-ones living elsewhere. Who cares?
Lindsey Lohan should have cocaine in her car. I expect it from her. Paris Hilton should dance topless on bars. She has been crafted by the very hands of God to be queen of the bar sluts. Hugh Grant should get a hummer from a tranny prostitute. Live it up, celebs! Take it to the limit!
God knows if I had been followed throughout my college career I would not only be on every Celebrity Rehab show known to man but I would have also continued to party balls just like most of these young celebs do. "Nicole dances uncontrollably" would be coupled with a picture of my dumb ass grinding on the wall at Wash Bar with a dead look in my eye. "Nicole barstalks guy who is out of her league" would be news the next night, with a pic of me swigging a shot of tequila and staring at an uncomfortable attractive guy next to me. "A drunken Nicole sleeps in dorm hallway" may have been another headline...my senior yr of college. These things happen. Young people drink. And only the best of them puke 'n rally.
And may God spite you all for shaming these people! If Mischa Barton had taken a shot of whiskey, thrown up, and called it a night, then yeah, shame the shit out of her. But to be obviously intoxicated, send it all to the streets, and say "Fuck it, I'm ready for more"...well, the girl has earned my respect. I used to think she was just some dumb anorexic with moderate good looks and a pension for hanging out with douchebags like that guy who called Lohan a firecrotch. (Uhh nobody messes with the Lohan...alright?)
No more. I've altered my stance on Misch to an anorexic-bulimic with moderate good looks with a pension for hanging out with that guy who also hangs out with Paris Hilton and called Lohan a firecrotch. (You know, it was a true statement, so I do kind of give it to him.)
Shame on YOU, America. And get after 'em Mischa. If I ever get a chance to hang with your drunk ass, I'll be the first one to hold back your hair so you can get back into the party where you belong.
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