Wednesday is for Writing

I do too much. Do you ever do too much? Ugh. It's crazy-making.

Typically what happens when I do too much is I end up driving myself crazy. Not like the real kind. But the exhausted kind. And that is prob the worst side of me if I had one. It's like everyone gets Early Morning Nicole all the time and believe me, if I had to pick the worst part of myself, that is for sure it. 9am? Fine. I can make it. 7:30am? Death sentence. The big difference in an hour and a half? An entire sleep cycle. And a much happier and energetic me. There's some learning for you today.

SO what ends up happening after doing too much is a slow realization of the toll I'm taking on myself. And then a complete annihilation of everything that I can possible kick out of my life for awhile. Pinning the stress points back down to minimal. It's happened with comedy. And that makes me sad. Because at this point, it's really all I want to do. But my work life and comedy life aren't mutually exclusive and finding the balance has been a hard art. And one I am not so masterful at in the least. Fuck. I hate that.

Lately, I've been trying to reconnect and I come home from work and start getting ready to go out and inevitably end up reading a book and falling asleep. I'll get past that soon. Possibly with the help of a psychiatrist and a lot of meds.

But--in excellent news--this week has actually been...dare I say it...really, really good. I'm feeling energized. I'm feeling good. And I'm feeling optimistic about the future again. I'm settling into my new position and soaking in whatever knowledge can help me along the way, and it's working for now.

I've been thinking alot about Memorial Day Wkend. And I've decided that it's going to be a vacation wkend in Denver. I'm going to do what I want, when I want to do it, and make no plans. I might even go to the Zoo AND the Botanical Gardens. It could get beyond crazy. That's ok. I'm pretty sure that is where my "safe place" is.

So speaking of that, here's my fear of the day: On both sides of the family, I have what you could call a "crazy aunt". In my family, it's just me and my sister. So I have a 50/50 shot at being normal or being the crazy one. And actually now that I'm thinking about it, if my sister has kids, I'm going to be the only aunt on this side of the family, which means inevitably I will be the crazy one. Crap. I'm doomed.

In other news, I saw Tom Green this wkend. I loved it. And I wrote about it here.

Enough jib-jab. It's before 10pm. And after 9:30. Bed time for this crazy awaits.