Sister's mantra? Walk straight, and the world will move around you.

My sister leaves for school in TWO WEEKS from today. I say this with a tear rolling down my cheek. I've always loved my sister, for better or worse. But in the past few months I feel in many ways that we're the closest we've ever been. And the irony of distance, even looming distance, is that it often ties you to the ones you love far more than proximity ever will.

Let me tell you about my sister.

She's infinitely talented. A sassy queen. (Or shall we say "Qui'n"?) A raging bitch. A jaded youth. An art-eest. As she would say. She's as high maintenance as they come with a biting sarcasm that would put even the most hardened individual on their heels. Mom and I plan on writing her future husband a manual. Here are some of the things it would say:

1. Blood sugar levels. Always make sure that Jacqui eats every three-five hours. If not, her excuse of hypoglycemia turns her typically sardonic smile into a wrath that will smite your soul and dissolve any momentary happiness. I would suggest carrying a granola bar at all times. Or better yet, a tranquilizer.

2. The cold look of death. You'll know this look by the raised eyebrows, the pursed lips, and the dilated pupils. Do not say anything. Do not move. Unfortunately, she is more velociraptor than T-rex, so stillness wont necessarily save you here. But this is not the time to a) try to calm her down or b) be within 50ft of her. I would suggest a running start and a strong will to live.

3. Do not eat anything off of her plate. Jacqui may not look like an eater --a quality I strongly covet as we share full bloodlines-- but she is fiercely protective of her food. And drink. If any extremities come within mouth distance, you will most likely lose them. Or be infinitely embarrassed when she freaks the fuck out in front of company. That last french fry really does mean the world to her.

4. The fish, bird, and moth clause. My sister does not like fish or birds. As a matter of fact, she hates them, as she once told me the following:

I hate birds and fish.-Seester
Why.-Me
Because I dont trust anything that can fly or breathe underwater.-Seester

She doesnt swim in the ocean. She doesnt go near birds. And she refuses to eat lobster as she thinks they "Look like giant bugs."

And moths. Ok. This is how bad it is. I was working, at my corporate job, when I received a call in the early afternoon. Requesting that I drive from my workplace in Aurora to her apartment in the Highlands to get a moth out of the house. I wish I were joking. But you just cant make that up.

Four things. That's pretty good. Now on to the sap.

I'm proud of my sister. Her rise through the fashion ranks of Denver has been swift and inspiring. She's the most stubborn person I've ever met. And simultaneously the most genuine. If she's pissed, she's pissed. If she's happy, she's smiling. If things are hard, she bites her lip and buckles in. And she never gives up. Her talent is innate and further molded by a work ethic that I definitely dont have. Los Angeles is a town for brass balls. My sister's balls...well, they're platinum. 

Go chase your dreams, kid. Going to school at FIDM is one of the biggest commitments you've made. Take 'em by the tits. You got this.

Love you, seester. Keep walking straight.