Getting back on that pogo stick.

Summer is coming to a close. Thank God. I've been busy and I dont even know how or why.

I kind of dropped off the comedy planet for a few months. I was jogging today and thinking about it and I came to the conclusion that I needed to take the summer to stop hating myself because I was really on a bender of self-loathing for like pretty much the past year. Maybe even a little longer than that.

Is that too honest? I dont know. My skills of self-deprecation are such an ingrained part of my psyche that it's hard for me to think I deserve anything or could potentially be good at something. Now this is bogus, I'm not an irrational person after all. But maybe my ties to humility and deference border on the pathological side.

Let's go back to the first sentence of the second paragraph. Jogging. I was jogging. I definitely got back into that in the past 6 wks, mostly because I got on a horse and couldn't breathe 5 minutes into an easy ride. Then I played in a polo match and could barely walk for three days. Then I realized that I had become a George Strait song and "Let myself go" and you know, if I have to be alive, I might as well at least have the option to be active. So I signed up for a 5k and whaddya know. I'm slowly but surely becoming an athlete again.

But anyway. Comedy. I have to pick and choose my battles, I know. My job is kind of important to me. I need it for now, that's for sure. I tried to do the comedy 4-5 nights a wk thing and that burnt me out, real quick, but I think I have to get over this silly all-or-nothing attitude that I've adapted over the course of my short-attention-spanned life. I've been pretty consumed with growing up and what it's supposed to mean and it's nothing that I though it would be and everything I never thought that it would. So there's that. I'm learning that maybe this is a one-day-at-a-time kind of deal. That my world doesnt have to be intricately planned, and that I probably shouldnt be so god-damned hard on myself.

Life is moving pretty fast right now. In a strange way. I dont want to blink my eyes and be in my thirties and thinking that I missed an opportunity.

So right now, "that pogo stick" involves getting back into shape, getting back into comedy, and not hating myself.

And for now, I'm gonna watch this thunderstorm. Light some candles. And try to write some jokes for an eve at the Lion's Lair, with some of my fave Denver comics.