Phoneless. Lifeless.

In recent news, my phone got stolen. STOLEN. Right off my table at the DTC Tavern. I figured there were enough old people and cougars there that no one would need an iPhone I guess, but apparently some asshole did. And I hope that someone steals the iPhone from them, just as they did from me. You fuck. You fucking fuck.

This happened on Wednesday night. I still do not have a working phone. Because I have to go through my corporate ladder to get my phone working again and lucky me, the guy is on vaca that can fix this. However, he has been awesome enough to try and get it all put together while he's on the road so I def own this dude a Starbucks card or something. If he actually does get my old phone reactivated. It doesnt help that the following things have happened/are happening:

-Lindsay Davis got engaged. Huge news. Missed this news b/c phone was gone.
-CU-CSU game is today. Cant figure out what I'm doing. Because I have no phone.
-It's also Davis's birthday. And KARI is driving up from Lubbock. And TUMTUM flew in from Chicago. And something is happening with The COUGAR. And I cant put my damn finger on any of this business. Because my fucking PHONE got stolen.
-My mom thought I died because she doesnt check her email. And I did send her an email. But apparently old people dont check that. But her facebook post was pretty priceless.

I lost/broke my phone in college a few times. But I always had roommates and other people around me to compensate. Here, I have two cats. And although I wish they got cell reception, unfortunately they do not. The timing on this couldnt be more excellent. Three hours till gametime. I'm laying in bed.

In other news, I wish the following were "diet" foods or foods without gluten: extra sharp cheddar cheese, salami and other charcuterie, Nerds, potatoes of all kinds, egg yolks, red velvet cake, pizza, delicious bread, regular pasta esp. delicious mac and cheese. I could go on and on. Damn you, gluten intolerance. And damn you past two years of sedentary lifestyle. Time to get off my ass apparently. Good thing my knees are as arthritic as a 90 yr olds. Did I play NFL football in a past life? Prob.

Ahhh frustrations. Frustrations. You rack my brain with your sweet insensitivities.

What else? Ah yes. I did find out that I will be in my BRAIN DRAIN rotation at work until NOVEMBER 1st. Which makes me want to creatively die. As it has killed any creativity that once used to pulse through my brain like crackling wildfire. Being on a computer all day really does nothing for my will to live, and to experience TWO MORE MONTHS of it?? TWO MORE?? Fuck my life. That's eight months of this bullshit. World, I cant deal with that. I need something to save me from this technological and numerical abyss. Fuck.

If hope were a thing I believed in, my phone will be working by noon. Extra sharp cheddar cheese will become deliciously calorie-free. And my superiors will see that they are killing me in this position. Fingers crossed.