It's Back. Or...A Confession of sorts. Or...Sorry, Babe*

I ate a McRib last night. And french fries.

I ordered it without onions. Leave the pickles. No ketchup for the fries. And just a water. As I couldn't justify the soda.

I ate it at approximately 2:37am. It was an impulse buy. A reaction to the banner that makes my mouth water with the indelible memory of the last McRib I ate. Which had to have been more than ten years ago.

Biting into it, the bun was soft, very white-bready but a bit chewier. Not like the powdery shitty buns they put on the cheeseburgers. It was a solid bun. The sauce hit my mouth like an explosion of tangy sweet goodness. Twas plentiful but not plentiful enough that it would drip onto my clothes. It stuck to the meat as a fast food sauce should. The pickles countered the sweetness with the sharp salty edge of dilled deliciousness.

And the meat...I feel the most guilty about the meat. It has to be pork, right? I get the same feeling when I eat a hot dog. What is this, really? But is that even a question that I want to ask? I don't think so. I don't think I want to know.

The texture is pork-like. That is for sure. But my confusion arises in that the "ribs" follow a rib-like texture; however, there are no bones. Of course. You wouldn't want bones in a McRib. The meat too is salty and delicious. With hints of pigs raised in conditions that would make me cry if I were to investigate the origins of the meal.

Let's not think about that too much.

The french fries on the other hand...well...McD's french fries are by far the best of the bottom of the barrel. But these were a bit dry. Not the squishy favorites that I recalled in my fast food past. They could have used the ketchup I didn't go for.

There are multiple reasons to regret this decision. My intolerance to wheat. The shitty way the body that the body minorly shuts down post-fast food indulgence. Waking up at 4am in a cold sweat.

But I dont regret it. Not one bit. And in another ten years, when they bust out the signs informing me that "The McRib is BACK" I will have another go-round, McD's. Hold the onions. But next time, I'll be asking for extra pickles. And ketchup. For the fries.


*Babe refers to the pig that was the protaganist of my favorite book as a child and favorite movie as a pseudo-adult.