I don't typically like to use the word "cult". One, because I was technically born into one which is an entirely different story altogether.* And two, because it invokes some sort of negative reaction, I immediately think animal torture and false vampirism, if that's even a word. And--in the case of this blog entry--I see a cult as a dedicated group of people who are aligned in the same vision and a privileged understanding through the works of an author.
It's hard to find a female author who embraces the values that I embrace. That many of my girlfriends embrace. That more young girls should have exposure to.
You have Jennifer Weiner, who is funny and entertaining but a little Cosmo and Seventeen-ish and I read her occasionally but I dont go YES. We grew up with Judy Blume and her simplistic style of writing that was relatable at age 9. Chelsea Handler has made her debut as the asshole female author of the world, but there are definitely no revelations in her writing that get caught in my throat. She's funny, but her writing definitely leaves something to be desired on an intellectual level.
Now there are some people who lose their shit over Ayn Rand. What a conservative goddess, or whatever. Admittedly, I like The Fountainhead. Even though I equate Howard Roark to a self-serving douchebag, I guess that's kind of the point, isn't it? How she made him a semi-protaganist, I'll never know. But I do walk away from a re-read, thinking "Come on moron, utilize your potential." This is in reference to myself, of course. However, I've read the first seventy pages of Atlas Shrugged like 95 times and I cant stomach it. I can force myself through most things, but at some point I really dont give a fuck who John Galt is.
There are few women that write from a place of reality. It's like they have to choose between completely feminizing themselves SATC-style (vommy) or de-sexualizing themselves through severe intellect. Even Handler's take tends to lean towards a masculinity that can be off-putting and surreal. There is an ultimate lack of vulnerability. You wonder why men are typically lauded for literary accomplishments? Because male authors have a ticket to be vulnerable, where women seem to have to fit a cut-out niche. You're either in pink high heels or Tevas. You're either worrying about your waistline or trying to play with the big boys. Either way, it sucks. Because the authenticity of the women that I know is that we fit into both and we play either/either.
Liv introduced me to Pam Houston on my recent trip to Baltimore. I had been hesitant to read her because...well...the book Liv wanted me to read so badly is called "Cowboys are my Weakness" and I felt like I was falling into another trap of potential feminine disappointment. I mean, the cover of the book looks like this:
To me this reads: Sex and the City. In the wild west. No thanks.
But delving into the actual book and others, I finally found the voice that I was looking for. The struggle between women and the culture, the difficulties that we** face in relationships and on our own, the decisions that we are faced with that are borne only to our gender. The layers are real. The vulnerability is damning. Houston turns what many of us see as our own personal internalized conclusions into this published thing that is verbalized in a way it removes some of the isolation of thought. You can talk about weight without being trite. You can wear pink high heels at night and tevas in the morning, without any questions to who you are, what choices you're making, and what kind of woman you're expected to be. There's no dichotomies, just a union of layered realities.
I guess I'm just relieved. Because I suck at playing the girl games. If you think you're Charlotte from Sex and the City, I probably think you're a dumbass. Wait. Reneg on that. If you think you're anyone from Sex and the City, you're either under the age of 21 (we're all dumb then) or...I definitely think you're a dumbass. And homey dont play that. Wait..what?
Anyway. So the cover and title are somewhat misleading. The content is overwhelming. The voice is my favorite. And I ordered seven of her books off Amazon and sent two copies of Cowboys out to two dear friends who are just as in need of a strong, smart, self-questioning, funny, intuitive, vulnerable female author as many of us are.
Thank you, Pam Houston. For being true to your voice. We need it out here in the jungle.
*I do prefer using the term "commune" in reference to the place I spent the first portion of my childhood, as there isn't too much negativity that I can spew about those eight years. In fact, it was a rather awesome place to be a child.
**"We" being women. Sorry dudes.
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